I promise to get back on Fata Morgana next week, but we got an important election to talk about. God knows we need an election that takes a W.

Geoff Keighley has run the Game Awards every year since 2014, ending the year with a celebration of games. Well, that’s what it’s presented as, anyway. There have been criticisms over the years about the awards just being a glamorized advertisement that largely ignores the plights of the industry. It’s kinda hard to ignore award recipients being told to wrap up their acceptance speeches while the awards still made time for ads and for celebrities to do bits.

I do not care about The Game Awards… normally. This year, I find myself caring because this is an award show that’d make gamers mad. One entry could cause Gamer 9/11 and I hunger for that.

This entry, of course, is Balatro. PlayThunk’s Balatro was an early indie gaming maverick this year, and it’s a maverick that’s now in the eyes of the greater gaming public. Balatro was guaranteed to get nominations in Best Indie and Best Debut Indie, but it’s also nominated in Best Game Direction, Best Mobile Game… and most importantly, Game of the Year.

Reactions to Balatro being Game of the Year have been strong. The indie game minded freaks like me have been delighted that a humble indie like Balatro’s up for consideration in a space like this, but the most boring gamers alive are so mad about it. “How dare a card game be under consideration for game of the year?” “This game doesn’t have high graphical fidelity, it shouldn’t count!” “Why didn’t Stellar Blade get a nomination over Balatro, the gooner nation deserves a nomination more!” “There’s no narrative,” says somebody that’d probably piss themselves if a visual novel was up for consideration. “Can Balatro do THIS!?” asks someone posting an action game GIF where they’re just doing a combo on something that doesn’t dodge or fight back, how fucking exciting.

Then some of them actually bother to try Balatro and do the “oh my god, I get it” scene from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

And tell me, why the hell shouldn’t Balatro be up for consideration besides not having the same kind of glitz and glam the other Game of the Year nominations have? Especially when Keighley made a rule change just so Elden Ring can get back on his show? Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree is something that only appeals to people already into Elden Ring. But Balatro? Sure, it’s “just a card game,” but because of that virtue, it’s a game whose base concept is easy for people to understand and latch onto. I hate to conform to the modern idea of accessibility being something accessible for mass audiences instead of, you know, being mindful of disabilities, but Balatro is the most “accessible” game of the Game of the Year crowd.

Now here’s the thing: I sincerely believe that Balatro has a shot at winning Game of the Year. The action game crowd will be divided between Elden Ring and Wukong. The platformer and turn-based RPG crowds will surely turn up for AstroBot and Metaphor: ReFantazio, but would they be big enough to overwhelm the casual gamers and card addicts? Metaphor fans should at least be happy that people are bitching about poker instead of turn-based combat like they usually would.

Also I guess Final Fantasy’s there. I dunno, from hearing takes from actual fans, it’s kinda divisive.

See, I need Balatro to win to cause a Gamer 9/11, because its nomination has revealed a core truth I’ve been thinking about for years: most gamers are fucking boring. They have no ambition to explore outside of the things they already like. They probably post some dork ass takes about there being a gaming drought every three months, and buddy I get it, you just play multiplayer shooters and shiny action games. Not too shiny though, because you’ll bitch about wanting escapism, but you also want games to just look like real life for some reason. Boring. Boring. Boring.

I need this Gamer 9/11 to humble gamers, force them to consider new things. Balatro’s mere nomination has encouraged people to experiment a bit, and that’s great! If people have nerd breakdowns… that’s also good for me. I’d be playing Armageddon from Live-A-Live in my head, I’d be living for this shit.

Balatro must win. It must make a clean sweep (sorry UFO 50). This is the shining star I need to end the year with, a year that’s been miserable for me personally. I’m the Joker – a Balatro Joker, not the Joker Joker – and I need this delight.