If you’ve been familiar with this site, at least before the two-month long despair of YIIK, I occasionally wrote small write-ups on all the things that gets sent to my inbox. I’ve been trying to write a new one, but I got stuck in a rut. Every time I try to work on it, I just can’t put things together.
I’m now climbing out of that rut to say that I will no longer be writing these kinds of articles. I have had multiple problems about doing these kinds of things. I’ve had these problems for a while, but I’ve just now reached a breaking point.
1) What Deserves Coverage?
In my role as a curator, I have to decide what kind of stuff from my email deserves to be put on a pedestal. I could simply share updates from people I follow on itch.io, but that’s too limiting. I’d only be exposing people to stuff from creators I like, while fresher faces that could be good are ignored.
It’s easy to say, “just stick to good games, moron,” but who decides what’s good or not? Well, me, obviously, but choosing to ignore games that I think are bad leads to another issue, at least for me.
Sharing stuff that I think is good is different from reviewing games that I think are good. People that send me emails probably end up looking at this site to see if I acknowledge their game. And I know that happens because a few people behind a few games that I was actually emailed to play sent me follow-up emails.
People can see if I don’t cover them. They’d know that I don’t see their games as something worth covering and it’s something that I feel bad about. My inaction regarding their stuff already says enough; but also, covering games anyway regardless of what I actually think of them would mean that I’m pretty bad curator.
Also, keep in mind that I’m making my own stuff, too. I try to make my own games and I’m currently slowly working on another one, but I’m hardly professional. The one game I made that actually uses code is complete spaghetti. As a rookie, do I have the right to judge the merit of games made by other rookies?
If I think somebody’s very first game is bad, do I have the right to say so? Heck, I don’t even have to say it. I have this fear that some people that wanted coverage for their games end up looking at my stuff and thinking, “this is the fucking idiot ignoring us?” I ignore a game that I think looks bad and then I look in a mirror and see Booboo the Fool, whispering to me, “as if your first thing is any better.”
And man, just look at my Articles tab. None of this shit is organized and the whole site desperately needs to be updated. Why would you ask me to uplift your game when it looks like this? I have a stupid d-pad on fire as a site icon. It’s dumb.
Combined with the guilt of ignoring games, it’s all a very bad time and I rarely look at my email because of it.
So yeah, in conclusion, I don’t think I’m going to be curating stuff from my email anymore. If you’re an emerging developer that wants coverage, please try emailing Phenixx Gaming, because I’m pretty sure the rest of the staff there doesn’t have moral breakdowns over things they’re sent, unlike me. Like, they @’d my 2/10 review of YIIK to the developers, they’re blunt and honest.
Thanks for understanding.